Category: Daily Living
Hi all!
Ok, a rather blunt subjectline but there it is..
I'm female, totally blind and the thing is that I need to go to a store and get a new bra/s.
The thing is, that I'm a bit imbarrassed about it. Obviously, I'll ask for a woman's help..(I was going to call the khol's department store before I go and explain my situation..) I know what color and such that I want but it's finding the size and sometimes I need help with the straps..(especially for it being new..what I've done in the past is have the straps and everything adjusted before I buy it.)
The thing is that I've always had someone I've trusted go with me in the past. I'm in a new state now and I really don't have any women that I know well to help me with this.
I was wondering if you women (and nice sensative guys lol..) have any advice about how to go about this with out being so shy and imbarrassed? It needs done..and I've been putting it off. I guess the thing that gets me the most is asking for help with the stupid thing in the dressing room..(not with putting it on but the adjusting problem..)
Any help would be greatly appreciated! In the past, I've always had a family member or close friend go with me but I don't have that now.
I've thought about getting them online, but to be truthful I just think and I like to try things on before I spend money on them. Save the annoyance of constant returns before I'd be able to get it right lol..
I agree, getting things like this in person is way better than getting them online where you can't try before you buy, so to speak.
Two ideas. Yes, you could call if you want to, and tel them in advance. Or just go in an ask for a female shopper's assistant. I'm guessing that they would understand your problem, and help. The assistant may not be the one who actually goes in the dressing room with you, but they could bring you to someone in that department who could, and the women in that department would likely have no problem doing so. I'm sure that you're not the only customer they've ever had who may need help adjusting the thing, for whatever reason.
The other idea is that there are stores that specialize in selling bras and such things. They are definitely used to helping women with issues like this. It's part of their job description to go into the dressing room, help the customer find what works for her, adjust it, etc. So it's something they do every day. Not sure if you have a store like that in your area, but just another option I figured i'd throw out there.
this is one of those times that being blind can be very annoying and a huge inconvenience, but it is doable.
I remember hearing somewhere that at least 50% of women wear the wrong size bra, and I think part of that is because they've never been measured and helped by a professional. Most high end department stores have people who measure you and help you pick out the right size and style for your body type. I'm sure any of these professional women would be willing to go into the dressing room with you and help you out. I doubt if you would find such helpful people at a discount department store.
Yeah, all of what you have said is so true..I never thought of going to a "bra store," for lack of a better term lol..Just thought it would be more pricy.
As far as 50 percent of women wearing the wrong size bra I did hear that once and I totally believe it. If anyone knows of any national stores for things like this I'd be greatful!
I just thought of victoria secret but they're really pricy with there bras..(like 40 to 50 dollars and I hear that's cheap when it comes to them..)
Thanks for the advice! Yeah, this is a time where being blind really is annoying.
I guess it'd be cheaper if you're getting the help of our BraMaster Lutherk. hahah. just kidding.
if I remember correct, my ex wife used to get into the shop, ask them to give her two or three different sizes and will get into the dressing room for testing which one suits her perfect. Once I went with her for bra shopping and I fed up sittin outside for hours. that was the worst shopping I met in my life.
since then, whenever if she asked me to accompanying her for shopping, my first question was, whether bra purchase is taking place?
Raaj.
Lol Raaj! I totally understand that bra shopping can take forever..(and it does for me..) lol.hense been putting it off;that and the asking for help dealing with this in a store.ugh!
Go someplace with a lingerie department and ask a woman who specifically works in that department for assistance. It's their job to help you buy something that fits properly, I believe measurement is the width of your chest...your 34,36 whatever width you need...the measurement of the most prominent part of your breasts...the difference between the two is your cup size A, B whichever one you need. For example if the measurement at the most prominent part of your breasts is 38, your width 36, you would need a 36B. If you find straps difficult to adjust like I do, I find Target lingerie department is best for this. There are little plastic clips you can buy for bras to pull the straps in, maybe to conceal for a T back tank top or just to make the brassiere more comfortable. Ask a saleswoman at Target to find you these in Lingerie. The ones that work for me are heart shaped and come 3 to a pack $6.00 a pack. Good luck!
I hate bra shopping!!lol. Ive had been putting it off for awhile after i had my son mind you hes now 15mths & i recently both 3 bras. Ever since i was pregnant i began hating bra shopping because my boobs kept getting bigger & bigger lol omg it was crazy. Before that i never had a problem shopping for them. My mom would tell me to go to Kohls because they have good bras there. Walmarts bras are cheap to me. Target hmmm they also have good one. And Victoria Secret are expensive but sometime they have sales. Well good luck with the bra shopping (:
Thanks a lot! Squig, I'm going to have to email you about those clips..never heard of them. As for Khols yeah I really love that store! :) I'm most likely going to shop there for the bra.
i usually go to jockie to shop for braws. Not only do i like the quality fof the garments, but the prices are good too. I go with a friend when i shop for bras since i'm very close to her. One thing that is so hard to find is the size i need. I'm a 34 A which is kind of hard to find in certain styles, especially wirefree bras because i prefer them that way. I feel kind of restricted when i put on underwire braws. I do have clips that keep the straps together being that i have problems with strapps falling off my shoulders which is so damn anoying since i have very narrow shoulders. At least i don't have sloping shoulders or better yet rounded shoulders.
I'm a sports bra girl, I hate all tose clasps and extra crap they put on bras. I get all white ones so they coordinate with everything. Not for dressy occas1ions, I'm gonna have to invest in a "good bra" but for now with this post-baby body I've got, I'm happy in my boring bras. Lol. For me, I'm not embarrassed to ask a female CS rep, and then see if the Dept. Manager can assist me further. That's what I did when buying maternity clothes at Target when I was pregnant with my 1st baby. As far as getting them on, I guess t1hat's why I don't fuss with too much snapping and clasping...
UniqueOne, did you know that there is also some bras that clip in the front & you don't have to worry about getting help putting them on from the back?? Some clip together & others you bring one side into a hole & thats it. Don't know if you've seen those, but they have some in many places.
I've never seen those, but I'm so hard to fit..ugh..However, I did go to Khol's yesterday and the cs rep was really nice! I had called the day before, explained my situation to her and she said she'd help me out. She was very nice and patient with me and helping me find the bras and get the stuff adjusted. She was so helpful and so nice I had a great experience shopping at Khol's. I'd recommend that store to anyone! :)
agreed, get the bra's that clip in the front, there a lot easier to take off!
LMAO
I'd try them on someplace, then buy online, once you know the size and style you want.
I recently learned that a there is a difference in cup sizes, depending on the band size. For instance, a B cup isn't the same size in a 34 and 36. This has proved to be very helpful, because I just assumed I was between cup sizes, and couldn't seem to buy a bra that fit properly, when I only needed a different band size!
Kohl's was where I found the brand I plan to wear for life. LOL Barely There. I'm with Sunshine -- no unnecessary frills, and plain white. Pay attention to style number if you do find a keeper, so you'll know what to get when you need to replace it with new.
I could use some of those clips, though. Does anyone know exactly what they are called?
This was a headache for me for years, too. I know it's silly to be shy to ask for help, but I am.
A closed list would be great for discussions of this sort.
Glad you did find what you needed, and got such good help!
Hi ladies:
I would agree that once the original poster has her proper size, there's no reason why she couldn't buy her bras online. Provided she knows what style and color she might like. For the girls who buy all white bras. Please be careful. White does indeed show through some clothing. Especially sheer fabrics, and ironically, white tops. Sports bras are usually made of a thicker material and could leave a funky bra line in some cases. When in doubt, buy nude bras. Be careful of embellishments like lace, as they could also show through if worn under the wrong top. Try to invest in a seamless bra for nicer shirts. If you're well-endowed like me, an underwire is probably going to be your best bet as far as support. There are lots of nicer underwire bras out there, that have padding around the wires. A good place for those of you who'd like to buy bras online is onehanesplace.com. The site carries brands like Bali, and I think Barely There. I like Jc Penney's for bras. They have lots of great sales. I'll have to look into those lingerie clips from Target. A good tip is to always fasten your bras on the first column of hooks. Then as it stretches, you can tighten it. Also don't dry your bras on high heat. This can weaken the elastic in them and cause them to lose their shape. I like to wash mine in a lingerie bag on the gentle cycle. Hth.
Thanks, Blw1978, for such helpful tips! I'll be getting the nude color... non-color? LOL, from now on.
I want to second the recommendation to OneHanesPlace.com. It's been my default place to shop for this for years.
Also, a few weeks ago I discovered and purchased from Tiffanysbras.com
which had the Barely There bras for $15, when they were $22 everywhere else. (These were the style 4104; they are lightly padded, but not bulky, no lace, underwire, and are covered with this extremely non-chafing, soft fabric. They are the most comfortable bras I have ever owned. 'kay, guess that's enough gushing.)
for those of you with no light perception, nude just basically means flesh toned, like your skin. There are lots of neutral bras in all different colors, for girls who're darker skinned. I'll check out the above-mentioned website. Does anyone else have trouble with bras with molded foam cups? Seems like the cups lose their shape really quickly, and if you bend them, they have these weird lines in them that never seem to disappear. Another bra rant, I'm really peeved that Victoria's Secret doesn't carry my size. Grrr!
I seem to buy coloured bras in similar styles. I have both back and front-closure bras (I LOVE front-closure), and my colour of bra doesn't seem to matter much because I wear thick coloured shirts over top so no one can see it.
I have had great experience in a Canadian shop called La Vie en Rose. They sell lingerie both in-store and online, and I have always had positive experiences with them.
Kate
Does anyone know by chance where I can find bras for plus sized women? Am having a very hard time buying new ones. Tried Lane Bryant but they fall apart easily and am sort of searching for ones that clip in the front.
there are indeed people at most big stores who have no problem helping with the sort of thing you're talking about, UniqueOne. in fact, that's what they're there for.
believe me, I used to be scared to go up to store clerks myself...but it gets easier with time.
The clips are from "Lingerie Solutions", and that product itself is called "Strap Solutions". Hope that helps.
I find that a lot of online retailers like JC Penneys, Kohls, onehanes place.com and Fredericks of hollywood carry plus sizes, oftentimes more than their in store counterparts. I haven't seen a lot of front-closure bras in plus sizes, but that doesn't mean they're not available. I know Just my size carries plus sized lingerie, and I think platex does too. Onehanesplace might be a good option. If you know your size and what style you'd like, you might be able to find bras that work for you online. I wanted to say that the bra descriptions at the above-mentioned retailers are pretty accurate. Also, whenever I buy something online, I always read the reviews. Sounds obvious to say that, but I used to not pay attention to them, and ended up buying a few pieces that were the wrong size. Hth.
Hey. Thanks so much. Will check coles. we do not have one here but have heard good things about them.
I've never bought a bra from Kohls, but they carry popular brands like Platex, Jockey, and Bally. Onehanesplace does carry JMS, which is specifically designed for plus sized women. They also have a link for women of color which would probably lead to a great selection of lingerie for women with deeper skin tones. Hth
This is really interesting to read! I'll def. check out these web sites!
Also BlW1978, thanks for the tips! I had actually found out about not having the dryer on high heat when I was shopping at Khols..it makes sense! Now when I wash my bras I just lay them out to dry. :)
Good, hope it helps them last longer. Glad to offer any advice I can.
Victoria's Secret does not carry larger plus sizes in store, so while you can order them online, this does nothing for the purposes of fittings and the in-store advantage, if you happen to be a plus size this is important to note. This should go without saying, but if you are nursing, planning to nurse or are pregnant, buy a nursing bra, a good one, as restricting bras, especially those with underwires can block milk ducts and damage breast tissue. Unsupportive bras can lead to back strain and worse stretch marks than you'd otherwise get during pregnancy and nursing. Wallmart, Target, KMart, etc may occasionally have good bras, but really good bras, and stores with consistantly good staff are really important for something that can actually effect your health as a woman. You can rummage through GoodWill or Salvation Army bins for your sweaters, or shop for Jeans at Wallmart, pick up shoes at PayLess, but, even if you're not ritch, budgeting money for good bras, really good ones is totally worth it. I buy most of my jeans from Wallmart and Old Navy, my blouses and skirts from Fashion Bug, Lane Briant, Christopher Banks and my shoes from Pay Less. But, for bras I go to Lord and Tailor, where I spent 30 dollars each on 3 everyday bras and 60 dollars on one really amazing, underwhire bra I use for formal occasions and nice dresses that has amazing lift, and makes the angular, slightly pointed, high presentation possible one needs to pull off a really classy dress, and without padding no less. I also buy my really good sneakers for walking many many miles with my guide dog from a higher end sporting goods store. It's about priority and while your pants,, your T-shirt or your skirt probably won't effect your health, taking care of your breasts which can performe the miracle of producing life giving food for your baby some day, that are so encredibly amazing in the bedroom and that can make or break a sexy bathingsuit or an elligant dress, is hugely important, just as taking care of your weight bearing, rarely resting, hard working feet, whose injury, infection, pain or other distress can lead to problems through out the body and decreased mobility later in life if not properly cared for, is important. Also, if you do the right thing and opt for really well made bras, that are usually more expensive, then taking proper care of them is crucial. I am preaching from a soapbox I've earned, because I've been there, done that, and learned my lessons the hard way. I used to do all of the following, and they are all no nos if you want to get a good long life out of a bra. Never leave the hooks engaged and pull the bra on or off over your head, as this stretches it way out of shape and over time stresses the bra, especially the band, on which you count to hold up your breasts. Never sleep in your bra. Not only is this bad for your bra, it is also bad for your breasts. If you want some support at night, there are wonderful, inexpensive, soft camisols, sports bras or night time nursing bras that provide some light support without being too constricting. The night time nursing bras are best, even for women who are not moms, they have a cross over design for freeing up one breast at a time for nursing, and they are fine for non-moms and one need not take their breasts out at any time, just enjoy the gentle fit. Never wash the bra in a washing machine if the instructions say not to, and if they say it's ok, follow the dirrections religiously, same goes for drying. Most bras do best if hand washed and line dried. If you really want a nice lift and shape to your breasts, you want a quality bra, take the time to wash it by hand. It's not hard, you can wash it in the shower while you're washing your self and let it dry in the bathroom after your shower is over. Also, if you are using a sports bra for excersize and a sleep bra for night time, not abusing your nicer bras with sports and sleep, you can take them off when ever you don't need them, thereby getting several days out of each bra before it needs to be washed. Never excersize in your bras. There are cheeper, more durrable, less flattering sports bras for running, playing sports or lifting weights. A lot of really strong work out sweat can break down elastic and degrade the material, and stress from repetative fast or violent motions can really stress the seams and diminish the bounce back quality of a good bra. Ok, I'm going to be super blunt, ok? So, I get how you will need help finding the right color. I understand how you would need help reading the sizes, the washing instructions, the brands, and perhaps even asking how a particular bra looks under a given shirt, I.E. does this flesh colored bra show under this white blouse, do I need a white one? I don't feel any part of this bra showing, but when I move like this, do the straps or under arm band of the bra show? and so on. I get all of that, but, honey, if you can't adjust a bra, then there's a bigger problem. You adjust it, not them, and you can't just adjust it before you leave the store and hope it'll stay like that. You have to wash it, even if you do so by hand, most bras should be washed by hand for best long term shaping results, it will shift and your adjustments will change within a few wearings and washings. If knowing where and how to adjust the bra is the issue, you should be able to figure it out, it's pretty standard, the hooks behind the back are nothing special, pick which row you want based on what feels comfortable, snag one of the little buggers, then you can get the remaining loops in that row with the remaining hooks. Don't tell me you can't do it, because no sighted person can see back there, and unless you have some physically limiting condition like arthritus or an arm that won't straiten, I don't want to hear anything about a store person needing to do that part. The straps adjust the same on literally every single bra I've ever seen, the only difference being whether the solid part of the strap was in the front and the adjustable loop in the back or the solid piece in the back and the adjustable portion in the front. Either way, all you do is move the strap through the slider, like adjusting the strap on a back pack, even simpler than adjusting the buckle on a belt or the belly strap on a guide dog harness. You can certainly do that by your self. If you want, have your shirt and bra on when they bring you some options, take your time and look them over, if you don't get something about them, like where they adjust, if there's a random hook in the front between the breasts, or if there's some extra adjustment slider somewhere, then ask before you're topless and uncomfortable. Send them out of the room and explore the bras, try them on and then you can do the rest through the door "Ok, this one here with the lace and the underwire, I like the band size, but the cups are too small, could you get it for me in the same band, with the next size smaller cup?" Then hang the bra over the door for them to grab. You can certainly tell by feel if the cups fit, too large has flexable loose material over your breasts, too small means that your breast tissue is trying to ballloon out at the top or bottom. Band size too small is it on it's largest setting cuts painfully into your skin, too large is on the smallest setting your breasts try to fall out under the cups, the whole bra moves around too much, or your sides, breasts and ribs do not all have constant firm contact with the bra. It's your body and you will know how a bra is fitting without sighted help. If you want a particular effect, such as a pushed up pointed look for a special dress, bring it along and have someone look at it under the dress. If you want every day bras, you should be more than capable of telling if a bra doesn't fit right. Know how to describe what you mean with words alone or by indicating things on your body, even through a shirt such as. "The cups are the right size
Know how to describe what you mean with words alone or by indicating things on your body, even through a shirt such as. "The cups are the right size, it's not that they're too small, but the top line of the bra, like the neck line of a shirt, it comes down too far on me. I want something where the tops of the cups come further up my breasts." or "I want more deffinition between my breasts, right now the material is a few inches away from the space between my breasts and I like that material to be closer or touching it, with a very good dilyniation between my breasts." or "The cups are good, but the side pannels are not tall enough, so they don't shape and hold in my sides the way I'd like them to." or "Everything's great, accept the straps, where they're attached to the cups is a little off, so no matter how I adjust it, I wind up with them too far out, almost falling down my arms." and so on and so forward. One hint for getting your breasts in properly to check the shaping ability of the cups is to reach inside the bra from the side, heft your breast high up in the cup, so that it is even too high up, giving the band at the bottom of the cup a chance to get right against your ribs with no breast tissue in the way, then drop your breast, sneaking your hand out from around it so that it will fall into place. Gently hefting it again can help you adjust where your nipple falls in the curve of the cup, and often a jump or a hop will settle them in even better. If there's a lot of loose material in the cup above your breast then either you need a smaller cup size, or you need to shorten the straps. I hope some of that helps. I am trying to keep perspective so as not to sound judgemental, because I suppose that being able to explore your body, naked, through bras and through bras and shirts together, and being able to talk about your body in detail to get what you need might seem intimidating to some. I have never been a very squeemish person, and once you have a baby, unless you have a super easy pregnancy, get put under for your whole labor and don't breastfeed, you will sort of get over it, and get over your self, quick fast and in a hurry. After walking around a labor and delivery room butt naked, in so much pain you didn't give a damn who was looking at any part of your body, after nursing your baby right there on the delivery table right in front of everyone, after having to nurse your baby in public, after performing delicate after care to one's vagina after vaginal birth, after working with a lactation consultant to work on the best possible latch and positioning, feeling embarrassed over bra shopping seems silly, but I gather you have never had a baby, and I remind myself about the difference perspective can make. My fiance is a Marine, he's seen active combat in Iraq, but I'm still the one to ask for a particular brand or style of condom we want at the store, or to ask the "how soon again can we have sex?" question at the midwife visit post childbirth, because he is uncomfortable doing that. I don't run around naked in public, but I also do not stress one bit about bra shopping, about explaining cloth pads or menstrual cups to another woman who is curious, about talking over the best cleaning of cloth diapers at our local attachment parenting store, and had no problem advising a skiddish young woman in an adult toy store about what might make a good, gentle beginner toy for her. So, if my words sound at all harsh, just remember I say them with a wrye smile and that with age and maturity will come that special wisdom that breaks down if not all inhibitions, at least the bigger, tougher ones, and some day you won't worry a bit about bra shopping, as your body, all of it, breasts included are a beautiful, wonderful thing to be proud of, not ashamed of, and better self awareness and self knowledge will actually help you need less assistance in time. Enjoy your body and pamper your breasts with a really outstanding bra, ok?
Heather, I always enjoy reading your posts on various topics. You have the guts to say what others may think but are too afraid to say them. I too, don't really understand the issue of not being able to adjust one's straps... as you say, sighted women don't have eyes attached to the back of their heads to help them do this.
I would agree with the bra strap adjustment comments by previous posters. This is something that you're going to be the best judge of. I've heard of putting the band of a back closure bra towards the front to hook it, then sliding the hooks in the back, if that makes sense! Also, I've heard that with each band size a cup size is going to be about half an inch larger. So, a D cup on a 32 band is going to be smaller than a D cup on a 40 band. The largest size I've seen online at Victoria's Secret is a 40 DD. Still not my propper size. Fredericks of Hollywood carries my size, but I've never bought from them. Good idea to wash bras in the shower. makes perfect sense, that is if I remember to take some laundry detergent in there. I don't like using other products, as they don't seem to give a clean finish. I once took a columnist's advice and used some leftover shower gel to wash a bra. I didn't like the end result.